I remember hearing a child in my classroom tell another child that she is too dark to play with them. Both girls were African Americans, just one was light-skin and the other little girl was a darker complexion. I had to intervene because we don't say things like that in my classroom. So, I told the little girl that said the comment that "we don't say things like that in the classroom!" I told the other little girl whose feelings was hurt that she is a beautiful girl. I told the other little girl that when you say stuff like that to someone, that will make them feel sad. I asked the little girl, would you like for someone to say to you, "I don't want to play with her because she is too bright!" That would make you feel sad. I continued to say, that we all might have different skin color, we are still the same inside. For example, we all have hands, feet, body organs, emotions, we need food to eat to live, and a house to live in and to keep us safe. We are all the same!
Here are some strategies to use if a incident like this happens in your classroom.
1. Stay Calm
2. Set limits- Firmly, yet calmly, remind the rejecting child that it is not okay to make fun or to exclude others because of who they are.
3. Explore feelings- Provide emotional support to both children. Let the injured child know that she is wonderful in your eyes.
4. Go beyond no; try to figure out what underlies the rejecting child's behavior- children do not learn much when they hear only no.
5. Take action that respects children's developmental understanding and their culture's interaction style-conflict-resolution methods are one way to do this (Let's figure out what is happening).
6. Respect children's learning process- no one-time comment or intervention teaches anyone a new way of thinking. Interacting with real people has the biggest impact, but useful experiences can also come through books and other media.
Reference
Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves.
Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).
Chris,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. I have had times at my school one students would come to me or hold my hand and tell me your dark. Your skin does not look like mine. I would always affirm what they say by saying,yes my skin is different from yours. They would then proceeded to ask me why it's different and frankly I just tell them that God made us all different and He made the world a rainbow. I told him how boring it would be if we were all the same and they seem to get it and talk about other things. I work in the early childhood field so my kids range in age 3-5 years, so when they would things like that would just also commend them for noticing that things are different. I like strategy # 4 that you use. It is so important to go beyond our no. If we're always say no without giving the explanation the child will not know what they did wrong and therefore the behavior could be repeated. You also said that we should explore the feelings. This is also a good point because many times there is a root cause to what children say or do.
Thanks.
Angela
Thank you Angela!
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